A woman who I admire VERY much also writes a blog. She is the founder and home of Saddlebred Rescue, as well as running a lesson/training/show barn. Every single day, she gives so much of herself. Her blog sort of inspired mine, as she inspires me on a daily basis.
Today on her blog, ( http://www.northwindstables.com/blog/ ), she wrote the following:
I want to stand on my soapbox now. I have some advice; if you are mad at someone, do not and I repeat, DO NOT say mean things to them. Say what you need to say to express what you are feeling then stop and zip the mouth shut! When you are angry and go “after” the other person you are only making a bad situation worse. I find we say things that we think we mean but when we cool off we realize that those things were said only to be hurtful. Being hurtful to another person will never make you feel better, it will only cause you to become bitter and carry a grudge. Besides this, the other person usually reacts in the same way they were spoken to: hurtful, mean and angry. I am watching two people (now more) do nothing more than hurt each other for no other reason than they have their feelings hurt. I know these two like each other (as people) and it is hard to sit by and watch them both try and “PROVE who is RIGHT”. I know that both of these people were raised to be thoughtful, respectful and kind to others, so this is not the way they have been taught to treat others. I hope they can just stop the hurtfulness and just act the way they truly are inside. Respect each other!! Agree to disagree if you will. Stepping down now.
Gosh, how I wish I could have read her words and absorbed that wisdom months ago! I do know that this is the proper way to behave of course, but when anger takes over....
I just don't think we can ever be reminded enough that no matter HOW angry and hurt we may get, it's ok to speak out about how we feel, but it's never ok to lose our tempers and try to retaliate for our pain. There are other, better, ways. *repeating to self 1000 times*
About 15 years ago, I remember reading a line that literally changed my life. It said "Sometimes it is better to be kind than to be right." It opened my eyes in a way they had never been opened before, and changed me for the better. And if I could just keep remembering that, and Nealia's words above when I am hurt or angry.... only good can come of it.
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