It is with great pleasure and satisfaction I announce that yesterday evening marked the first asparagus harvest of 2010! (Ok, that's a little grandiose... the "harvest" was only one beautiful 5" sprig, but it was still exciting.) It was delicious broken into tiny pieces and added to my salad.
This year will be the first year we can heavily harvest this bed, just beginning its 3rd year in the ground. (Hint: Spending a little more money up front and getting the 3 yr old crowns initially pays off a year quicker in harvest. too.) There are about 8 plants in this one, and I see about a dozen fat little spears poking up through the sandy soil now. The younger plants in the next bed are 2 this year, and we will be able to pick and choose a few select spears.
I wish I could tell you what the varieties are, but of course I can't remember. (See previous post.) This is made more humorous by the that fact I researched asparagus varieties for weeks before choosing exactly what to plant, and while the older ones are rather purplish, and I think there are a few Martha Washington's in there filling up the spaces that didn't "take", the two main varieties are now anybody's guess.
In any case, we've waited a long time to have our fill of home grown, organic asparagus, and looks like this could be our year. In fact, with 20 plants, in a couple of years we might be buried in it! It's the most satisfying part of growing your own food.
I'd like to get a strawberry bed going this year, but I need suggestions on a good variety. I'm not into the everbearing kind, I'd rather have many sweet, larger ones once a year than pick small, constant yields all year.
I am so thankful it's spring! Finally!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Brain Lapse
I've always had a hard time keeping up with dates, unless I physically see them on a calendar. Must be a "visual" thing. I go along in life most of the time with a vague idea of where we are in a calendar month, although most (but not all) of the time I do realize what day of the week it is. It goes without saying, that if I did not use Quicken to keep up with the bills, they would never be paid on time, but only because of that vague notion I have of the date. Thank heavens for Quicken!
Of COURSE it's become even worse since in the last few years, how could it not, being over 40 and all? :-)
Even after paying all the bills on Saturday morning, including the house payment, due on the 1st, (because Quicken reminded me it was time, not because I really absorbed the 1st of April was so impending), I was still in the vague notion that we were in the "middle" or "late middle" of March. Thus, when I received my invitation earlier last week about a home party of friend of mine was giving for March 28th, I had it in my head it was not THIS weekend, but NEXT weekend. For some reason, I never managed to get my calendar updated, because, see, I thought I had another week to do it. I did go on and tell the hostess I would attend however.
Imagine my horror when, yesterday afternoon, while working through loads of laundry and watching the ballgames, I get a text from my friend "Are you coming?" I think "What the... it's next Sund.... OOhhhhhhhhhhhh EEEEEEEK!!!!" as the realization hits that I just stood them up.
Now, those of you who know I'm a Tupperware consultant, rest assured it was not a Tupperware party, and I was not actually the SALES consultant for this party. I was merely to be attending as a guest. However... HAD it been a Tupperware party that I was supposed to be there as the seller, I would have STILL completely forgotten. Because of course, I thought it was NEXT Sunday.
Through my mortification, I do have to laugh at myself. Did I not write out a deposit slip AND a check on Saturday that said "March 27"? Yes, I did. Of course, I was just looking at the date in Quicken and copied it down, and didn't "absorb" it.
There's more. Yesterday morning, my husband and I were doing what we do every Sunday from middle/late winter through spring... counting hay bales and stressing. Do we have enough? Do we not? Is there too much, did we overbuy? What if we have an extended cold snap in April like 2 years ago? What about that clinic I'm going to for 4 days and will be stalling a horse there, do we enough on hand to account for that also? The trail rides that I need hay bags for. Do we have a few extra to sell to our neighbor who needs some? What if it doesn't rain much this spring and they don't get a first cutting until later this year... yada yada ad nauseum, and yes we do this EVERY WEEK until the grass has come in enough that we can quit feeding hay for the summer. (Unless there is a drought, see previous post about farmers never being happy with the amount of rain.)
ANYWAY... we were counting bales in the loft from the ground, which adds even another interesting dimension to it, (are there two layers in that part... ok.. now does it go over 7 or 8? Did I mention we do this EVERY week, and it's not like the bales we are counting have moved themselves since the last week, but see... we can't REMEMBER from the week before..), and we said.. "Ok.. we are at Mid-March.. two more weeks, and the first two weeks into April.. then this many for the clinic... and this many for..."
Did anyone else catch the "Mid-March"? Now, to defend my husband, he had just arrived home in the previous hour from spending the night caring for his Dad and was operating on a few minutes of dozing here and there all night.... but I had just the previous day written out checks with "March 27th" on them...
And does anyone else wonder why we have to count the hay every week? Makes sense that we buy a certain number of bales, we know how many we use each week.. just subtract that from the total number, right? And then... perhaps every 6 weeks or so do a good count just to make sure. That makes sense, right? Well, that only makes sense when you aren't over 40 and forget how many you counted the week before. Could we write it down? Or even.. have a dry erase board in the barn? Why sure, but we keep forgetting to buy one. So until Quicken comes up with something that will connect to the barn loft and download the number of bales automatically, we will continue our weekly stressing.
Anyway.... wanted to get this post on brain lapses up before I forgot. :-D
Have a wonderful day!
Of COURSE it's become even worse since in the last few years, how could it not, being over 40 and all? :-)
Even after paying all the bills on Saturday morning, including the house payment, due on the 1st, (because Quicken reminded me it was time, not because I really absorbed the 1st of April was so impending), I was still in the vague notion that we were in the "middle" or "late middle" of March. Thus, when I received my invitation earlier last week about a home party of friend of mine was giving for March 28th, I had it in my head it was not THIS weekend, but NEXT weekend. For some reason, I never managed to get my calendar updated, because, see, I thought I had another week to do it. I did go on and tell the hostess I would attend however.
Imagine my horror when, yesterday afternoon, while working through loads of laundry and watching the ballgames, I get a text from my friend "Are you coming?" I think "What the... it's next Sund.... OOhhhhhhhhhhhh EEEEEEEK!!!!" as the realization hits that I just stood them up.
Now, those of you who know I'm a Tupperware consultant, rest assured it was not a Tupperware party, and I was not actually the SALES consultant for this party. I was merely to be attending as a guest. However... HAD it been a Tupperware party that I was supposed to be there as the seller, I would have STILL completely forgotten. Because of course, I thought it was NEXT Sunday.
Through my mortification, I do have to laugh at myself. Did I not write out a deposit slip AND a check on Saturday that said "March 27"? Yes, I did. Of course, I was just looking at the date in Quicken and copied it down, and didn't "absorb" it.
There's more. Yesterday morning, my husband and I were doing what we do every Sunday from middle/late winter through spring... counting hay bales and stressing. Do we have enough? Do we not? Is there too much, did we overbuy? What if we have an extended cold snap in April like 2 years ago? What about that clinic I'm going to for 4 days and will be stalling a horse there, do we enough on hand to account for that also? The trail rides that I need hay bags for. Do we have a few extra to sell to our neighbor who needs some? What if it doesn't rain much this spring and they don't get a first cutting until later this year... yada yada ad nauseum, and yes we do this EVERY WEEK until the grass has come in enough that we can quit feeding hay for the summer. (Unless there is a drought, see previous post about farmers never being happy with the amount of rain.)
ANYWAY... we were counting bales in the loft from the ground, which adds even another interesting dimension to it, (are there two layers in that part... ok.. now does it go over 7 or 8? Did I mention we do this EVERY week, and it's not like the bales we are counting have moved themselves since the last week, but see... we can't REMEMBER from the week before..), and we said.. "Ok.. we are at Mid-March.. two more weeks, and the first two weeks into April.. then this many for the clinic... and this many for..."
Did anyone else catch the "Mid-March"? Now, to defend my husband, he had just arrived home in the previous hour from spending the night caring for his Dad and was operating on a few minutes of dozing here and there all night.... but I had just the previous day written out checks with "March 27th" on them...
And does anyone else wonder why we have to count the hay every week? Makes sense that we buy a certain number of bales, we know how many we use each week.. just subtract that from the total number, right? And then... perhaps every 6 weeks or so do a good count just to make sure. That makes sense, right? Well, that only makes sense when you aren't over 40 and forget how many you counted the week before. Could we write it down? Or even.. have a dry erase board in the barn? Why sure, but we keep forgetting to buy one. So until Quicken comes up with something that will connect to the barn loft and download the number of bales automatically, we will continue our weekly stressing.
Anyway.... wanted to get this post on brain lapses up before I forgot. :-D
Have a wonderful day!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Spring rains
After a gorgeous day yesterday, the rains came today. Usually I would grumble about rain on a weekend, but 1)we had the best day yesterday, and 2) we actually need the rain.
Farmers are hardly ever satisfied with the amount of moisture. There is either too much or not enough! The selfish part of me prefers "not enough" in one respect - no mud, less bugs, less mowing. However, it makes the cost of hay astronomical in drought years (less cuttings and lower yields), and it's of less quality. And we have to feed it more often since the pastures get stunted.
On the other hand, too much rain results in... lots of mud, lots of bugs, more mowing the grass, and.... in an exceptionally rainy year, an astronomical cost of decent hay (due to the difficulty of harvesting it without it getting rained on or moldy). The pasture has to be protected so the horses don't beat it into a muddy pulp, but at least we don't have to feed hay in the summer on a wet year. Which is good because we are so busy mowing on the non-rainy days and swatting at bugs, we don't have time. :-) The rare "normal" years are usually in between the other extreme years and result in only semi-astronomical hay prices so the hay farmers can make up for their losses on the other years. We are extremely fortunate to have two great hay suppliers who have made sure we are able to get what we need and don't gauge us.
Mud is a huge consideration for those of us with horses. This area is not blessed with "well drained soil", (my friends here are collapsing with laughter at the thought). It's heavy dense clay under only a few inches of topsoil. Clay so heavy and dense that there are several "clay mines" in the area that are used to create pottery. So yes, I do have an appreciation for the beautiful, black loam of my childhood home! (I remember the first time my husband went back with me in the winter. He noticed the fields turned over and asked me what the farmers put in the soil there to make it so black. :-) )
This year, the weathermen are saying we are already way behind on rain. I was enjoying not spending a spring getting my boots sucked off in the mud, but on the other hand, I would hate for our investment of re-seeding a couple of the paddocks to go to waste, or to have to pay a 50% premium on hay this year.... only time will tell. See how hard it is to please us farmers? :-)
The onion sets are in, and the first batch of spinach and lettuce have been planted. So today I am thankful for rain today and the beautiful day yesterday!
Farmers are hardly ever satisfied with the amount of moisture. There is either too much or not enough! The selfish part of me prefers "not enough" in one respect - no mud, less bugs, less mowing. However, it makes the cost of hay astronomical in drought years (less cuttings and lower yields), and it's of less quality. And we have to feed it more often since the pastures get stunted.
On the other hand, too much rain results in... lots of mud, lots of bugs, more mowing the grass, and.... in an exceptionally rainy year, an astronomical cost of decent hay (due to the difficulty of harvesting it without it getting rained on or moldy). The pasture has to be protected so the horses don't beat it into a muddy pulp, but at least we don't have to feed hay in the summer on a wet year. Which is good because we are so busy mowing on the non-rainy days and swatting at bugs, we don't have time. :-) The rare "normal" years are usually in between the other extreme years and result in only semi-astronomical hay prices so the hay farmers can make up for their losses on the other years. We are extremely fortunate to have two great hay suppliers who have made sure we are able to get what we need and don't gauge us.
Mud is a huge consideration for those of us with horses. This area is not blessed with "well drained soil", (my friends here are collapsing with laughter at the thought). It's heavy dense clay under only a few inches of topsoil. Clay so heavy and dense that there are several "clay mines" in the area that are used to create pottery. So yes, I do have an appreciation for the beautiful, black loam of my childhood home! (I remember the first time my husband went back with me in the winter. He noticed the fields turned over and asked me what the farmers put in the soil there to make it so black. :-) )
This year, the weathermen are saying we are already way behind on rain. I was enjoying not spending a spring getting my boots sucked off in the mud, but on the other hand, I would hate for our investment of re-seeding a couple of the paddocks to go to waste, or to have to pay a 50% premium on hay this year.... only time will tell. See how hard it is to please us farmers? :-)
The onion sets are in, and the first batch of spinach and lettuce have been planted. So today I am thankful for rain today and the beautiful day yesterday!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Fabulous ride!!
After a very long winter, spring has finally arrived. The yard needs to be mowed, the fence needs to be worked on, and I have 2 hibiscus roots sitting in a bucket of water to be planted, but today was 65 and sunny so I went riding instead! Makes perfect sense to me.
Two of my friends and I met up at a central location place that has hundreds and hundreds of acres for riding. Over a 6 mile ride, we all worked on things with our horses that needed it, and all had success. We also went for several raucous gallops. It was heaven!! When we got back to the trailers, I hated for our perfect day to end. The horses were ready for it to end however, they were sweaty, hot, and tired after the warm weather in the remnants of their winter hair, but I could have galloped off for another round. :-)
It was amazing to look at the clock after loading up and heading back home. How can the time fly by so quickly when we are doing something we love?
Being with horses is my "church", it is my peace, my tranquility, my relaxation, and my fun. (Well, except for the very rare rides that go awry, then... not so much.) Everyone should have something in their life that brings them this feeling.
Two of my friends and I met up at a central location place that has hundreds and hundreds of acres for riding. Over a 6 mile ride, we all worked on things with our horses that needed it, and all had success. We also went for several raucous gallops. It was heaven!! When we got back to the trailers, I hated for our perfect day to end. The horses were ready for it to end however, they were sweaty, hot, and tired after the warm weather in the remnants of their winter hair, but I could have galloped off for another round. :-)
It was amazing to look at the clock after loading up and heading back home. How can the time fly by so quickly when we are doing something we love?
Being with horses is my "church", it is my peace, my tranquility, my relaxation, and my fun. (Well, except for the very rare rides that go awry, then... not so much.) Everyone should have something in their life that brings them this feeling.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Yesterday's post sparked some interesting emails and conversations with my friends.. Thank you!! I love good discussions and the insights they bring. I have such wise friends. It does remind me we are all in this together...
Mixed emotions today. I am so much more at peace today.. . still a little unsettled though when thinking about the hurt that I've caused with my bad temper. However, I can't change the past. All I can do is be thankful that I had the ephinany, grovel for forgiveness to the ones that matter, and from this day forward look at the world differently. I think I can do that, I just needed my eyes opened.
Isn't that rather an analogy for so many things in life? We just need to open our eyes.. the eyes to our inner self and open our hearts? I am grateful to those eye-openers in my life. My eyes have been opened to many things over the past decade, am I done yet? I don't know if we ever get "done", it's part of the journey.
For example, why is it so much easier for me to forgive others, but not myself? Why don't I give myself the same consideration I would for someone I loved? While I am easier on myself now than I have ever been, I can still really beat myself up for things. Things that I would have forgiven a friend for quickly.
Today I am glad I have been shown a new truth about myself. Something that needs to be improved, and will be. I very much regret the cost it had, inflicting needless pain upon others.
Today I want to start learning to forgive myself more quickly, without beating myself up for some extended period of time first.
And, my daily thanks for having so many people in my life who care about me and look out for me. We have great collective strength!
Mixed emotions today. I am so much more at peace today.. . still a little unsettled though when thinking about the hurt that I've caused with my bad temper. However, I can't change the past. All I can do is be thankful that I had the ephinany, grovel for forgiveness to the ones that matter, and from this day forward look at the world differently. I think I can do that, I just needed my eyes opened.
Isn't that rather an analogy for so many things in life? We just need to open our eyes.. the eyes to our inner self and open our hearts? I am grateful to those eye-openers in my life. My eyes have been opened to many things over the past decade, am I done yet? I don't know if we ever get "done", it's part of the journey.
For example, why is it so much easier for me to forgive others, but not myself? Why don't I give myself the same consideration I would for someone I loved? While I am easier on myself now than I have ever been, I can still really beat myself up for things. Things that I would have forgiven a friend for quickly.
Today I am glad I have been shown a new truth about myself. Something that needs to be improved, and will be. I very much regret the cost it had, inflicting needless pain upon others.
Today I want to start learning to forgive myself more quickly, without beating myself up for some extended period of time first.
And, my daily thanks for having so many people in my life who care about me and look out for me. We have great collective strength!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Anger
I've always had a bad temper. Through the years, I've been able to get a better handle on it with maturity, but recently I have realized that, as far as I've come, it is still not far enough. If I am hurting others with my anger, then it is not acceptable. While I don't like conflict, there are a few select triggers that make me so angry that I lose it and become just verbally... abusive. There, I said it.. abusive. Might as well be brutally honest with myself and not sugar-coat it.
I am truly a Pacifist at heart. I hate conflict, I'm a lover not a fighter. Make love, not war, etc. So what sets me off? After a thought provoking conversation yesterday with a friend, my eyes were cracked open a bit, and I had sort of an epiphany on my way home from work.
There are so many things going on in this world that we SHOULD be mad about, but I'm not going to get into that here. My point is to elucidate what sets me off. And it came to me on my drive home.
The last 14 miles of my drive is on 2-lane highways. Last night, someone was driving a backhoe in road gear down the road, at all of 30 mph, already with about 5 cars stacked up behind when I caught up. It's an inconvenience, but it was OK, I knew there was a large place at the corner ahead where he could pull off and let everyone pass. We get to the corner, about 15 cars strong. Huge parking lot to pull into and let everyone pass. Uh, no... he just whips right on around that corner and onto the next 2 lane highway... 14 of the 15 cars making the turn with him. The anger starts. I then think, "Well, he must just be going to one of these houses right here then.." Uh, NO!! MILES AND MILES on this road at 30, we are now at about 60 cars.. I was FURIOUS. OMG, steam rolling out my ears. And why? I wasn't in a huge hurry to get home, other than just wanting to be home. It's not like the extra 15 minutes were going to result in the house burning down or something. So why was I going off the deep end to the point of fantasizing someone ramming him in the rear end with their big truck? Or worse?
On that road, there are 3 good places to pull over and let people pass. When I am hauling the truck and trailer and horses on that road, if someone is behind me, I ALWAYS make the effort to pull over. I have had to pull over at all 3 places on the same trip! If I'm running behind, I pull over. If it's pouring rain, I pull over. I know how annoying it is to be behind something large going slow, and I do this out of courtesy for my fellow man. Not because I want to waste time pulling over, but just because it is the nice thing to do. I appreciate it so much when someone does that for me, too. So it just went ALL over me this asshole could care less about the 60 cars behind him.
And it hit me... the things that make me the very maddest, are the exact things that I make great effort not to do. The things that set me off the very most, are the things that I take great care and effort to NOT do. Ohhhhh........ and I started ruminating (and hey, at 30 mph for 9 miles, there was plenty of time Grrrrrrr...)
I thought about the things that make me totally lose my mind in a very bad way... animal neglect/abuse. Child abuse. OMG, steam out the ears. And, as previously mentioned, these are things we do need to be mad about.
But what about the things that we (by "we" I mean "me") really don't need to get so extremely angry about and do so anyway? And become so angry that we retaliate to "protect ourselves", but then later realize nothing warrants handling it that directly and brutally.
One answer is to not be close to someone who makes you that angry. However, a better answer is.. explore why something that, in the big picture is fairly minor, sets you off. If that person is important to you, and you want them in your life, explore the details of exactly what triggers the anger, and perhaps.. just perhaps, think of a different way to deal with it.
A friend of mind handles their anger or stress by just shutting down and walling everyone out. I, on the other hand, if I'm angry, work VERY hard to NOT let it affect my relationships with my loved ones and friends (well, except for the one situation or person I am angry at). I love my friends and family, I need them in my life.. I try to reach out to them so I can have some fun and comraderie to help me deal with the stress that's going on. Now, it IS an effort to reach out when I want to just curl up in a ball and wall the world away.. but I work hard NOT to do that. Very hard.
Which now makes sense when I have someone close who suddenly turns cold... and walls me out.. eventually makes me furious. Like they are throwing ME away. When really, they are just throwing themselves away into their own misery. Oh, I'm fine for a few days... but when I feel like I go from "friend" to "outcast" overnight.. OMG.... it makes me LIVID!! How DARE they throw me away! How DARE they toss me out and treat me like I no longer have any importance to them at all. And of course.. this makes me so irrationally angry because I make the conscious effort NOT to do that when I am caught up in the streses of life... the light bulb is shining brightly now.
My point is... there are always going to things that make me angry. However, flying off the handle is not the right way to handle it. Walling everyone out and withdrawing so you don't do or say something you will regret is one extreme. And attacking the issue head on, which can turn verbally abusive in a hurry when I get rolling is the other. The right way is somewhere in the middle. However.. I can't control what anyone else does, only what I do. If someone affects me with one extreme, it is still not right for me to react with the opposite extreme. I need to find that middle ground.
I am truly a Pacifist at heart. I hate conflict, I'm a lover not a fighter. Make love, not war, etc. So what sets me off? After a thought provoking conversation yesterday with a friend, my eyes were cracked open a bit, and I had sort of an epiphany on my way home from work.
There are so many things going on in this world that we SHOULD be mad about, but I'm not going to get into that here. My point is to elucidate what sets me off. And it came to me on my drive home.
The last 14 miles of my drive is on 2-lane highways. Last night, someone was driving a backhoe in road gear down the road, at all of 30 mph, already with about 5 cars stacked up behind when I caught up. It's an inconvenience, but it was OK, I knew there was a large place at the corner ahead where he could pull off and let everyone pass. We get to the corner, about 15 cars strong. Huge parking lot to pull into and let everyone pass. Uh, no... he just whips right on around that corner and onto the next 2 lane highway... 14 of the 15 cars making the turn with him. The anger starts. I then think, "Well, he must just be going to one of these houses right here then.." Uh, NO!! MILES AND MILES on this road at 30, we are now at about 60 cars.. I was FURIOUS. OMG, steam rolling out my ears. And why? I wasn't in a huge hurry to get home, other than just wanting to be home. It's not like the extra 15 minutes were going to result in the house burning down or something. So why was I going off the deep end to the point of fantasizing someone ramming him in the rear end with their big truck? Or worse?
On that road, there are 3 good places to pull over and let people pass. When I am hauling the truck and trailer and horses on that road, if someone is behind me, I ALWAYS make the effort to pull over. I have had to pull over at all 3 places on the same trip! If I'm running behind, I pull over. If it's pouring rain, I pull over. I know how annoying it is to be behind something large going slow, and I do this out of courtesy for my fellow man. Not because I want to waste time pulling over, but just because it is the nice thing to do. I appreciate it so much when someone does that for me, too. So it just went ALL over me this asshole could care less about the 60 cars behind him.
And it hit me... the things that make me the very maddest, are the exact things that I make great effort not to do. The things that set me off the very most, are the things that I take great care and effort to NOT do. Ohhhhh........ and I started ruminating (and hey, at 30 mph for 9 miles, there was plenty of time Grrrrrrr...)
I thought about the things that make me totally lose my mind in a very bad way... animal neglect/abuse. Child abuse. OMG, steam out the ears. And, as previously mentioned, these are things we do need to be mad about.
But what about the things that we (by "we" I mean "me") really don't need to get so extremely angry about and do so anyway? And become so angry that we retaliate to "protect ourselves", but then later realize nothing warrants handling it that directly and brutally.
One answer is to not be close to someone who makes you that angry. However, a better answer is.. explore why something that, in the big picture is fairly minor, sets you off. If that person is important to you, and you want them in your life, explore the details of exactly what triggers the anger, and perhaps.. just perhaps, think of a different way to deal with it.
A friend of mind handles their anger or stress by just shutting down and walling everyone out. I, on the other hand, if I'm angry, work VERY hard to NOT let it affect my relationships with my loved ones and friends (well, except for the one situation or person I am angry at). I love my friends and family, I need them in my life.. I try to reach out to them so I can have some fun and comraderie to help me deal with the stress that's going on. Now, it IS an effort to reach out when I want to just curl up in a ball and wall the world away.. but I work hard NOT to do that. Very hard.
Which now makes sense when I have someone close who suddenly turns cold... and walls me out.. eventually makes me furious. Like they are throwing ME away. When really, they are just throwing themselves away into their own misery. Oh, I'm fine for a few days... but when I feel like I go from "friend" to "outcast" overnight.. OMG.... it makes me LIVID!! How DARE they throw me away! How DARE they toss me out and treat me like I no longer have any importance to them at all. And of course.. this makes me so irrationally angry because I make the conscious effort NOT to do that when I am caught up in the streses of life... the light bulb is shining brightly now.
My point is... there are always going to things that make me angry. However, flying off the handle is not the right way to handle it. Walling everyone out and withdrawing so you don't do or say something you will regret is one extreme. And attacking the issue head on, which can turn verbally abusive in a hurry when I get rolling is the other. The right way is somewhere in the middle. However.. I can't control what anyone else does, only what I do. If someone affects me with one extreme, it is still not right for me to react with the opposite extreme. I need to find that middle ground.
Daily Health News Email
I can't remember where I signed up for it, but I receive a daily email from "Daily Health News". Most days I don't even read it. Some days I click in and idly skim through while thinking of something else. Today was one of those days, and it was meant to be for me to see it.
I've been struggling with something. I don't deal with extreme anger in a very positive way. It's gotten to the point that I'm lucky I have not lost people who are very dear to me because of this. I didn't think it was that much of a problem anymore, I have already come a loooooong way with it, but I am now realizing that it is a problem, and I need to find a way to handle it a better manner. What am I, like 3 years old? Verbal retailiation, a wrong for a perceived wrong.. no, there is a better way. There has to be.
Anyway, just this morning, this article was in the Daily Health News. Proving again there is a reason for everything, I happened to see this article (I have only included exerpts for brevity) and it hit home. The next post will be about my struggle.
Dont Fight Being Human
The list of celebrities getting toppled from their perches due to their human failings gets longer and longer... Not to mention that our fascination with human weakness has turned into a booming industry.
But what’s even more fascinating than watching all these beautiful, successful people fall? Seeing how they return from the ruin. The drug abuser who comes clean and writes a book... the fitness trainer who was once obese... these people serve as inspiration we love to embrace. According to life coach and Daily Health News regular contributor Lauren Zander, CEO of the Handel Group, there is a very good reason why we find them so entrancing: "Focusing on the failures of others allows us to hide from our own weaknesses, reassuring ourselves that we must be fine since we’d never do that."
It’s Part of the Story
The truth is that our weaknesses (we all have them) are part of being human. Overcoming them is part of the adventure of life, whereas covering up and hiding from a simple weakness can transform it into an obstacle that holds back personal development, and perhaps even destroys your life.
Have you noticed that people who’ve taken charge of failings and turned them around exude more confidence? With their stronger sense of self, they’re better and more inspiring teachers than those who have never had to confront their demons. Since the entire world is facing challenges right now, Lauren says it’s an ideal time to unmask our own weaknesses and take a different approach -- embrace them. She points out that everyone has positive and negative traits, adding "It’s better to be honest about your challenges than to make believe that they don’t exist, since, I promise you, the rest of the world is very aware of your shortcomings."
Accepting and acknowledging our weaknesses makes us immediately more authentic and real. Furthermore, it is only by admitting to our negative traits that we can begin to work on changing them. "Inherent in the concept of making something better is that you have to acknowledge that it’s a problem," says Lauren. "It’s the light emerging from the dark, the yin/yang of life."
But when you acknowledge what is negative in your life you also introduce a crucial question -- are you willing to do the work to make it better? "It isn’t easy to change the way you live -- how you eat, how you talk to others, the routines of your life," says Lauren. Making improvements requires awareness, adjustment and commitment. "Avoiding the conversation means that you don’t have to deal with it," she says. "But once you figure out that it is possible to turn not-so-great into something you’re proud of, you have the inspiration that leads to making a better life."
Picture This
Lauren suggests that one way to get good at admitting your flaws without feeling humiliated is to start a list of your weaknesses in a private journal. Be utterly honest -- the whole point is to realize that we all have human frailties. What are yours?
I've been struggling with something. I don't deal with extreme anger in a very positive way. It's gotten to the point that I'm lucky I have not lost people who are very dear to me because of this. I didn't think it was that much of a problem anymore, I have already come a loooooong way with it, but I am now realizing that it is a problem, and I need to find a way to handle it a better manner. What am I, like 3 years old? Verbal retailiation, a wrong for a perceived wrong.. no, there is a better way. There has to be.
Anyway, just this morning, this article was in the Daily Health News. Proving again there is a reason for everything, I happened to see this article (I have only included exerpts for brevity) and it hit home. The next post will be about my struggle.
Dont Fight Being Human
The list of celebrities getting toppled from their perches due to their human failings gets longer and longer... Not to mention that our fascination with human weakness has turned into a booming industry.
But what’s even more fascinating than watching all these beautiful, successful people fall? Seeing how they return from the ruin. The drug abuser who comes clean and writes a book... the fitness trainer who was once obese... these people serve as inspiration we love to embrace. According to life coach and Daily Health News regular contributor Lauren Zander, CEO of the Handel Group, there is a very good reason why we find them so entrancing: "Focusing on the failures of others allows us to hide from our own weaknesses, reassuring ourselves that we must be fine since we’d never do that."
It’s Part of the Story
The truth is that our weaknesses (we all have them) are part of being human. Overcoming them is part of the adventure of life, whereas covering up and hiding from a simple weakness can transform it into an obstacle that holds back personal development, and perhaps even destroys your life.
Have you noticed that people who’ve taken charge of failings and turned them around exude more confidence? With their stronger sense of self, they’re better and more inspiring teachers than those who have never had to confront their demons. Since the entire world is facing challenges right now, Lauren says it’s an ideal time to unmask our own weaknesses and take a different approach -- embrace them. She points out that everyone has positive and negative traits, adding "It’s better to be honest about your challenges than to make believe that they don’t exist, since, I promise you, the rest of the world is very aware of your shortcomings."
Accepting and acknowledging our weaknesses makes us immediately more authentic and real. Furthermore, it is only by admitting to our negative traits that we can begin to work on changing them. "Inherent in the concept of making something better is that you have to acknowledge that it’s a problem," says Lauren. "It’s the light emerging from the dark, the yin/yang of life."
But when you acknowledge what is negative in your life you also introduce a crucial question -- are you willing to do the work to make it better? "It isn’t easy to change the way you live -- how you eat, how you talk to others, the routines of your life," says Lauren. Making improvements requires awareness, adjustment and commitment. "Avoiding the conversation means that you don’t have to deal with it," she says. "But once you figure out that it is possible to turn not-so-great into something you’re proud of, you have the inspiration that leads to making a better life."
Picture This
Lauren suggests that one way to get good at admitting your flaws without feeling humiliated is to start a list of your weaknesses in a private journal. Be utterly honest -- the whole point is to realize that we all have human frailties. What are yours?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Peace
"I never knew making one decision and deciding "it's time" could lift such a burden off your heart and spirit almost instantly. Words can't describe what the light at the end of the tunnel looks like.....I never thought I would see it. Let's hope I can stay on the path..."
I have the best girlfriends ever. Thank you. I love you gals for still being my friend, in spite of.
I have the best girlfriends ever. Thank you. I love you gals for still being my friend, in spite of.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Songs
Music has always been so important to me. It seems like no matter where I am in my life, there are songs that relate to it. I love the way hearing a song can take you back to the "place" in your life that made it relevant. Most of the time it is happy, sometimes bittersweet or sad.
I started this blog to help me organize my thoughts every day. To try to decide what I wanted or needed for this one day. And to make sure I expressed whatever I was thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for.
I've always been ambitious. That desire is what ultimately let me survive my childhood, break some family patterns, and excel. But the ghosts and shadows remain. Not as much.. but yes, they are still there. Old patterns, old hurts, and the way I managed to escape it all.. but do we ever really truly escape? I wonder.
Today, I am grateful for my job which lets me live my dream of having horses, and having them at home. I am grateful for my loving husband who does his best.. I know I'm not an easy person to live with. I am grateful for my girlfriends.. SO grateful for them, you have no idea.
Today I want to keep working on not being so hypercritical of myself. I will never love myself fully or be able to control my weight until I do. I want to stop hating myself for not being as perfect as I think I should be.
I started this blog to help me organize my thoughts every day. To try to decide what I wanted or needed for this one day. And to make sure I expressed whatever I was thankful for. I have so much to be thankful for.
I've always been ambitious. That desire is what ultimately let me survive my childhood, break some family patterns, and excel. But the ghosts and shadows remain. Not as much.. but yes, they are still there. Old patterns, old hurts, and the way I managed to escape it all.. but do we ever really truly escape? I wonder.
Today, I am grateful for my job which lets me live my dream of having horses, and having them at home. I am grateful for my loving husband who does his best.. I know I'm not an easy person to live with. I am grateful for my girlfriends.. SO grateful for them, you have no idea.
Today I want to keep working on not being so hypercritical of myself. I will never love myself fully or be able to control my weight until I do. I want to stop hating myself for not being as perfect as I think I should be.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Daylight Savings Time
Daylight savings time is here!! Yay!! If only it could be daylight from 7am - 9pm all year...
Another rainy, chilly, dreary day. Seems like I can only get motivated to clean house when it's sunny. Or when I have people coming over. Or on a huge dose a Sudaphed and Xyrtec, and only because they make me so hyper I have to do something.
Today:
I want to get out of this chair and clean my house.
I want to figure out a way to not be consumed with wanting things I cannot have.
I want to learn to be content and grateful for what I do have. I have so much, and am so fortunate.
Another rainy, chilly, dreary day. Seems like I can only get motivated to clean house when it's sunny. Or when I have people coming over. Or on a huge dose a Sudaphed and Xyrtec, and only because they make me so hyper I have to do something.
Today:
I want to get out of this chair and clean my house.
I want to figure out a way to not be consumed with wanting things I cannot have.
I want to learn to be content and grateful for what I do have. I have so much, and am so fortunate.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
In the beginning
In the beginning, I was a normal, happily married woman who was mostly content with what she had. No.. strike that. Have I ever been content? Haven't I always strived for more? A better education, a better job, a way to fulfill my dreams and goals, and a loving husband to be my partner in life? Perhaps I should say that I had reached a point where I had all those things. And I still do, unless I screw it up. I now have the better education, the better job, the small farm, and the loving husband, and have for many years. So what's going on now?
Life is a funny thing.. you think you know what you want, and when you get it, you take it for granted and want something else. Or well, I guess at least I do. For several years I felt like something was missing... like I was mourning something, but didn't know what. Life was pretty good, other than this thing that was missing. What was missing? I have no idea! It's crazy.
So really.. in the very beginning, I was a child who learned to be very independent at a very young age, and to develop a strong intuition of when things were about to go bad for me. I learned to tell quickly who was capable of hurting me, and who I could trust. There were very precious few I could trust.
Today I wish for:
Peace in my heart and mind
To learn and truly believe that sometimes it is OK to be weak.
Life is a funny thing.. you think you know what you want, and when you get it, you take it for granted and want something else. Or well, I guess at least I do. For several years I felt like something was missing... like I was mourning something, but didn't know what. Life was pretty good, other than this thing that was missing. What was missing? I have no idea! It's crazy.
So really.. in the very beginning, I was a child who learned to be very independent at a very young age, and to develop a strong intuition of when things were about to go bad for me. I learned to tell quickly who was capable of hurting me, and who I could trust. There were very precious few I could trust.
Today I wish for:
Peace in my heart and mind
To learn and truly believe that sometimes it is OK to be weak.
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